Last Updated on September 27, 2017 by Robert Price
I was a roofer for three days, and this is what happened.
I’ve decided to some temp work this summer. My first assignment came Monday: It was a roofing job, tearing out a large, flat, commercial roof about 30 miles away.
And, as I told you in Monday’s post (Part 1), the two super-bald lead roofers for this project were in their mid to late 30s.
I was wrong!
The foreman was only 28.
The assistant foreman was only 33.
Revisiting Their Norwood Statuses
I was also incorrect about their Norwood statuses. Both were full Norwood 6s, a la Prince William and Louis CK. One still had a little, fading, type 5 band of hair separating the front and rear scalp, but it was thinning more than I realized. So I changed the diagnosis!
Early Onset Balding…
There’s no getting around the fact that severe, early hair loss makes most men look 5-10 years older than they are. Just ask Brian Stelter of CNN.
Three Days Work, 150 Bucks
Not very good! We started before the crack of dawn each day, except the first one, at 4:30 in the damn morning. They start this early because the roof shingles get sticky in the heat, making them harder to remove. We were only getting in 5.5 hour workdays, which added up to about $55 bucks per day.
Not Worth It
I almost didn’t go back for the third day, but I had a pretty good rapport with the guys and I figured if I told them my situation — that I needed to get in a full 7-8 hours to make the trip worthwhile, that maybe they’d figure something out to keep me board. I was wrong! That’s fine. I accomplished at least as much as the other two temp workers combined — the obese gentlemen and the bum-legged, former tweaker, respectively.
They said they’d bring the other two guys back, though! Whatever, guess it’s just about having bodies out there!
The Foreman was a Former Methhead, Too
I carpooled with him to the job site on the second day, after we met up at the owner’s shop. The time was 4:30 A.M. The owner had the keys and we were locked out. Where was the owner, we wondered. He was likely either hungover or in jail, concluded the two full-time employees! Man, construction workers…as I said in my previous post, they’re a hard-living and hardworking bunch!
The foreman was a pretty cool guy. Only 28, he’d clearly been to hell and back and I always have respect for people who are survivors.
Does meth accelerate hair loss, like a poor diet, alcohol, and smoking can?
Yeah, I bet it does, but hair loss is probably the most mild side effect of tweaking…
It’s also a great drug to take if you need to walk to Kansas City this weekend, as comedian Artie Lange once noted.
“It must be a hell of a high,” I told the foreman.
“Total euphoria, the best you’ll ever have,” he replied.
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Puts holes in your brain though. I’m lucky to be alive.”
Jesse Pinkman appears to have a mild, early, receding hairline, perhaps due to his meth usage.
Brushing My Teeth in the Car
I’ve been having some dental issues lately, so I brought my toothbrush to the job and brushed my teeth on several occasions. Man, the crew loved that, and I was the butt of many jokes as a result! Which was fine, I can dish it out as well as take it.
I told them, “I try to place an emphasis on oral health.”
They laughed.
I said I hadn’t been to a dentist in twenty years, and the only reason I still have all my teeth is because I maintain them rigorously.
Dentistry. Goddamn that is racket if there ever was one.
Yes, that’s about right. I’m gonna need to bite the bullet soon though; I’m thinking I may head down to Mexico to handle some of these lingering dental problems.
Dehydrated
Man, I get dehydrated really easily. It’s an effect of working at home for all these years. Also, I think my time on antidepressants, from approx. age 20-25 had some lasting effects on my sweat glands. As I noted in my Would I Take Propecia post, I hardly sweat at all before I went on those happy pills. After I started, and pretty much to this day, I sweat like Patrick Ewing in the fourth quarter after the slighest of workouts. For all you millennials out there, Ewing is an NBA legend and one of the shiniest, sweatiest men to ever grace the court.
NBA legend Patrick Ewing. I look like a light version of this after a heavy workout.
Drugs. You gotta be careful and do your due diligence before going on any medications for an extended period of time. That goes for hair loss drugs like Propecia, weight loss drugs, viagra, everything.
The Superiority of 90s Movies and Music
The 33-year-old, Norwood 6 gentleman and I bonded over our shared age and the various pop culture phenomenons of the 90s. Man, even Adam Sandler was making awesome movies back then, I noted. He’s an absolute joke now. I’d rather watch a Michael Bay film or a formulaic Fast and Furious jaunt than a brainless, humorless Sandler joint, and that’s saying a lot.
Fast and the Furious….Talk about baldness in every direction!
Tyler Durden
At the end of the day, the 90s loving roofer said, “nice to meet you, Robert. I’ll probably never see you again.”
I said, “Good to meet you too, Tyler.”
“Eric,” he corrected me, looking genuinely albeit only slightly offended.
I knew everyone else’s name…but for whatever reason his name alluded me.
In retrospect, I can now pinpoint the source of my confusion.
When we were talking about our shared love of the 90s, he busted out some of his favorite movie titles which were mostly comedies. The Ace Ventura films, Dumb and Dumber, Dazed and Confused, etc.
I didn’t rattle off a list, however for some reason I started thinking about the ’99 film starring Brad Pitt and Edward Norton, Fight Club. By the way, I believe Norton had a hair transplant around the time that movie was filmed.
Tyler Durden. The name just kept coming up in my subconscious mind. Maybe because Pitt’s still a Norwood 1 in his 50s and all these roofers were basically bald, and so much younger. I don’t know.
I think that’s why I mixed up the names. I didn’t tell him that, of course.
Man, my mind is always thinking subconsciously, even when I’m busting my ass in the hot sun on little to no sleep. I dream about balding occasionally too, which is a little bit messed up, I must say.
The Freelance Writer
That was my nickname after the end of the third day.
“Does that pay well?” a couple of them asked.
“No. That’s why I’m out here,” I replied.
Of course I could actually make more money writing than doing physical labor. But it’s summer and I feel like getting outside. By November, around the time of my next birthday, when the weather turns to shit, I’m sure I’ll lose my motivation and get back to my bread and butter. Hopefully I’ll have made some progress on monetizing this blog and possibly selling my country songs by then. Web freelance writing is not a viable, long-term career course for me, and I wouldn’t recommend it to you, either.
Not Meant to Stare at Screens All Day
I’ve been working from home for 7 years now. It has its perks, sure, but all the sitting and typing endlessly like a monkey in search of the next great American novel and staring at semi-radioactive screens for hours on end is getting to me.
I can certainly relate to many quotes from Peter Gibbons, Michael Bolton and others in Office Space, and there’s perhaps no more pertinent one than this one:
“We don’t have a lot of time on this earth. We weren’t meant to spend it this way. Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.”
So true! With a few minor changes, I could easily make that quote relevant to your typical, 9 to 5, work-from-home professional. Not the entrepreneurs, of course, which is the direction I need to move in, and maybe you should look into as well.
Anyway, that concludes this roundabout story describing my first (and possibly last) 3 days as roofer, with countless hair-related detours for your reading pleasure.
Enjoy your hair while you can and have a powerful day.
Robert Price is a writer, consumer advocate, and hair loss researcher with thousands of hours of experience in the field. His goal is to keep you out of the hair loss rabbit hole, underworld, or whatever you want to call it. He founded Hair Loss Daily, the unbiased hair loss blog, in 2016. You can learn more about Robert in the my story section of this website.