Warning – This is a hair loss blog, but this post is NOT about hair loss.
But it does have a few hair-related nuggets, of course.
So read on.
And listen to the two songs in the title, for Christ sake: “America” and “Unchained Melody.” They’re both infinitely better than ANY song by Drake, Taylor Swift, One Direction, The Weeknd, Bruno Mars, or Ed Sheeran. That fact isn’t debatable, either, sorry. I’ll embed them at the end of the article, or just go to Youtube and watch them now — the choice is yours.
End rant.
Yeah, so anyway, I’m not sure why I feel compelled to write this shortish article, honestly. It upsets me that two of my favorite all-time songs are now being used to peddle SUV’s and various, absurdly overpriced Apple consumer products.
Steve Jobs…
What an asshole. He liked to park in handicapped spaces for Christ sake! But I think baldness humbled him a little bit. Okay, maybe not.
Hair or no hair, Steve Jobs was a prick.
America
So, the first song in question is “America” by Simon and Garfunkel. Now, for all you hair loss freaks and geeks, if you must know, both S&G wore wigs at various points in their careers; Simon sported his rug from approximately ’79-’93 and Garfunkel rocked his Jew-fro toupee…forever basically, from sometime in the 70s until very recently.
Is that offensive? Am I outing two of my heroes, who happen to be bald?
I don’t think so. I genuinely love both of them and they’re in their 70s and the bald truth has been known for a long time among S&G fans. So I’m giving myself a pass, thank you very much.
And the second song is “Unchained Melody” by the Righteous Brothers, the best love song of all-time, if you’re sort of a cautious or cynical romantic and not a hopeless romantic. It’s an agnostic love song, if there ever was one….
I know, I have the musical tastes of a 65-year-old, not a 32-year-old. But I digress.
More On “America”
It’s a beautiful song featuring a series of unforgettable, vivid scenes that’s somehow catchy, even though it lacks a standard rhyming scheme. It describes the fascinating, fictional journey of Paul Simon and his then girlfriend, Kathy, also immortalized with her own song, appropriately titled “Kathy’s Song.”
Part of me always wished Paul and Kathy got married, had kids, and that he continued immortalizing her in one incredible song after another. But you can’t always get what you want, unless you’re Mick Jagger (what a head of hair!). Paul stood alone without beliefs at one time, and Kathy was the only truth he knew…
The first verses of “America” are both optimistic and whimsical at times. He uses “real estate” in his bag to purchase some cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies, which could imply all of his possessions are on-hand for this particular trip. He seems to be something of a vagrant with no employment or home, yet he’s hopeful while searching for America, and in search for meaning in a material world.
The song was written in 1966, the year before the notorious “summer of love” in San Francisco. Like many young men of his generation, the war in Vietnam played a pivotal role in shaping Simon’s philosophies on life, love, and the pursuit of happiness.
It’s also been speculated that the “real estate” in his bag was in fact marijuana — a theory that makes sense given the third verse, where they laugh on the bus and play games with “faces,” not actual people, implying that they’re perhaps a bit too stoned to recognize shapes and figures. That’s happened to me a few times as well, but those are stories for another time.
Cold war paranoia is still in full effect, as Kathy tells Paul that the “man in the gabardine suit was a spy.”
Simon responds, in jest, saying “be careful, his bow tie is really a camera!”
My “America” Story
The song transports me back to year 2004 every time I hear it. I was 19 going on 20, with nothing figured out while out of school with no job and no life, really. I’d just gotten over the shingles actually. But like Simon, I was somehow optimistic in spite of my depressive tendencies, anxiety, acne scars, and the list could on.
By the way, for all of you who are here solely for the hair loss material, I had a juvenile hairline back then, perfectly straight a la Ross from Friends and/or a goddamn chimpanzee, which would disappear within a short couple of years. That’s when I developed my “mature” hairline and everything went to shit. Just kidding. I’m lucky it’s still pretty much holding steady, I think…
On a Greyhound Bus
I was en-route to California from Washington state with a friend, to visit my grandparents.
Vignettes from the journey…
Funny tobacco
We smoked a fair amount of it the night before the trip, then we headed down to that filthy, disgusting, God-forsaken Seattle greyhound station. Simon liked smoking back in the day, too, during his fictional pursuit of the American dream.
Cigarettes
They were a big part of that journey as well. I quit smoking in about 2010, by the way, and cigarettes are bad for your hair. But man, when you’re in the process of trying to discover yourself while in something of a quarter-life crisis, cigarettes are awesome, just awesome. But don’t smoke, especially if you’re going bald. Do what you want on second thought. I lit up at every major stop.
I remember a black gal behind me talking about how she’d been a smoker for 20 years, since she was 8 years old. Then an old lady, a few rows behind her, chimed in and said she’d been puffing the cancer stickers for 50 years! The black gal responded, “Damn, like my grandma…”
I wonder if either of them are still alive, 13 years later…
Oral….
Ha. Yeah, so first I overheard a really loud dude talking about the time his buddy got robbed in British Columbia, as he was getting a BJ from a street hooker, naturally. The second oral incident occurred somewhere around Sacramento. An ex-con tattoo artist, who I talked to earlier in front of an In-in-Out Burger and seemed like a pretty nice guy, got blown by some chick he met a few bus-stops back, maybe in Medford, OR? I can still recall her bobbing up and down over a shirt or blanket or something. Ex-cons, chicks dig them. I don’t think Simon or Garfunkel would’ve fared too well in prison.
The Sun Rose Over an Open Field
I remember it. Those fields, once again, outside of Sacramento. A critical juncture on the journey. They ain’t much to look at, and I’d been awake for about 20 hours, but for whatever reason, they were beautiful to me. I could see the moon rising in 1966 at the same time, with Paul staring out the window, then over at Kathy again…
“You Look Like You Got a Lot on Your Mind”
I was outside smoking. Once again, at the Sacramento bus station! A black security guard approached me and told me I looked like I had a lot on my mind. His friendly disposition and complimentary tone still stick with me to this day. Be kind to people…
That’s enough…..
What’s it about?
To me “America” is about connection, empathy, and trying desperately to make sense of all life’s most burning questions. And ultimately, it’s about failing, but getting back on the Greyhound and riding again. Or something like that. I don’t know, I’ve had a few drinks tonight.
“They’ve all come to look for America,” Simon and Garfunkel sing, triumphantly, while referring to the vague and seemingly motionless travelers on the New Jersey Turnpike, many of whom are undoubtedly going to jobs they hate or to take part in the consumerism Simon seems to implicitly reject in the song. Empathy.
Unchained Melody
Yeah, maybe my favorite song ever. But I don’t have as much to say about it, for whatever reason. To use it in an Apple commercial. That’s just offensive to me. I’ve always hated Apple and I thought Steve Jobs was overrated (and an asshole, as I already said).
Best love song ever. Tim Cook: Please don’t use it to try to shamelessly tug on people’s heartstrings and hawk your bullshit devices.
If you can respect my wishes, I won’t talk about the suicide nets over in China…Or Donald Trump. Deal? You have a fantastic hair for a 56-year-old man, by the way. Hair transplant? I won’t go there, either.
Here are the Songs:
Robert Price is a writer, consumer advocate, and hair loss researcher with thousands of hours of experience in the field. His goal is to keep you out of the hair loss rabbit hole, underworld, or whatever you want to call it. He founded Hair Loss Daily, the unbiased hair loss blog, in 2016. You can learn more about Robert in the my story section of this website.